You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
