$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I wear drunk well.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
