he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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