Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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