Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
