are you so shy because you have an std?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
