fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
