so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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