i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You took a bar mat shot.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
