Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
