do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
