The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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