pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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