Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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