there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
