he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
