he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
