youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
