What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
