Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
