he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
