We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
home. puking in laundry basket.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
