I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
