He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
