The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
