3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
