like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
