Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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