I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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