im having a threesome with these popsicles
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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