dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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