Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
