So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
