i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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