I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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