Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
