Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
