i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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