Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
