I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My ass is underappreciated
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
