On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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