My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
