seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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