She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
