you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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