his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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