Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
