if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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