think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
