38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i will never coherently bang her
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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