what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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